ED&I: Facilitating Difficult Conversations
As a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Consultant, I am often asked by organisations to help facilitate conversations with groups of people to learn more about their personal experiences. Examples of this include leading a conversation with black and global majority employees to discuss their experiences of racism within an organisation. Another example might be leading a conversation about recruitment strategies and hearing about the experiences of people with neurodiversity during the interview process. These sorts of facilitated conversations are often useful when auditing the current state of an organisation in terms of diversity and inclusion and can be used to inform an action or strategic plan.
I’ve also been asked to facilitate conversations after other facilitators have already had a discussion with groups of people and actually caused more harm in the process because they have inadvertently used terminology that is no longer acceptable, gas lit the people taking part or delved into a story far too quickly and insensitively for the situation they are in.
As we see more organisations identifying existing staff as having responsibility for diversity and inclusion, leaders and managers need to ensure that difficult ED&I conversations are done well. The consequences of not doing so will lead to colleagues feeling more alienated and ‘othered’ in the organisation, resentment of leaders and high employee turnover. More important than all of that is the additional harm and trauma this causes to people and the more unlikely it is for us to achieve an inclusive society where everyone feels they belong and heard.
How can we avoid undesirable outcomes from facilitated conversations?
Trauma Informed Approach
It is vital that facilitators employ a trauma informed approach to their work. In simple terms it means understanding that when someone has experienced racism, homophobia, ageism in fact any discrimination, they have experienced a trauma. Some simple trauma informed strategies to employ are:
1. Begin any session by acknowledging that we may be discussing difficult subject matter and lived experience. Acknowledge that this may be traumatic.
2. Create a safe space and ‘ground rules’ for the conversation about expectations of behaviour and how people can protect themselves if they are triggered. Perhaps they can leave the space and come back when ready or leave and not return for example.
3. Acknowledge that by asking people to offer up their lived experience they are having to relive a trauma in that space with an audience.
4. Do not rush the process. If someone is telling the group something, then allow the time and space for the person to share. Rushing past the narrative might suggest that their experience doesn’t really matter to you.
5. Plan in a period of ‘come down’. You can do this by warning that the session is coming to an end. Remind everyone of the ‘ground rules’, direct individuals on how they can get support and give suggestions of what they can do to relax or employ self-care following the session.
Know The Context
It is important that you find out what you are walking into. If you are being asked to facilitate communication in a place where you work don’t assume that you know all about the organisation. Much of what happens at senior leadership is confidential and not widely shared. It is worth approaching your line manager or another member of the senior leadership team for any relevant context to the discussion you are going to have with the group you are facilitating. For example, is the conversation triggered by a series of complaints, is there recent survey data?
Try to discover if there have there been complaints around issues of inclusion? What is the structure of the organisation? Look at the existing policies on diversity and complaints if you can so you can get a flavour of existing thought on diversity and inclusion.
It is also worth factoring in a few minutes at the start of the session to ask a general question about how people feel at the organisation and about the meeting. In my experience, if people have been ‘strong armed’ into going to a discussion there are immediate barriers that need to be overcome before any meaningful conversation can take place. This also allows you to test the temperature of the room before diving into the main subject matter.
Be Prepared
Have your questions ready, but keep them open. ‘Can you tell me about….’ is often a good way to start a question and it actively places you in listening mode. Another good question opener is 'do you feel comfortable telling me about...' Sometimes an organisation will have specific questions they would like you to ask and you will have some of your own. In addition, there will be questions and discussion points that come up from the answers and conversation that takes place in the group.
Make sure you know the questions you absolutely must ask, and the ones that are desirable but not essential. This will help you to avoid rushing through questions and not leaving enough time for the group to discuss and for individuals to share their opinion. If you feel there is not enough time to hold a discussion in the time given, you should make this clear to the person who has asked you to hold the discussion and if necessary organise a follow up session.
Active Listening
This really is key. People want to feel heard and understood and it is important that you do understand. Active listening skills allow you to do that. By paying attention, making some notes as people speak, repeating back and summarising you are demonstrating that you are interested and making sure that you have fully understood what the person has said to you. This is really important especially if you are feeding back to the organisation leaders or your own leadership team.
Thank You
Make sure, that you thank people for their time and make sure you are the last person to leave the space. Sometimes people want to tell you something else. If you don’t have the time in your schedule to do this, it may be appropriate to share how they can get in touch with you later or direct them to another appropriate person. Dashing off should be avoided, again it can give the impression that the conversation didn’t really matter to you.
Who is Best to Hold The Discussion?
Before organising a discussion about an EDI issue ask yourself: who is best placed to facilitate it? If you are the person who holds responsibility for EDI you may well want to facilitate. If you are the leader of an organisation you may understandably want your EDI leader to facilitate these sorts of discussions. Regardless of your role, you should ask yourself who is really best placed to do this work. Here are some points to consider:
How will this conversation affect relationships within the organisation?
Will the people who are ideally attending the group feel comfortable opening up to someone they already work with or who they may report to?
Are you, or is the person in your organisation trained well enough to facilitate the conversation?
Are you, or is the person in your organisation able to dedicate enough time to the preparation, facilitation and follow up?
If, after asking yourself these questions, you decide that you or your ED&I lead are not the best person to facilitate ED&I discussions then you should invest in getting someone to do this for you. The consequences of a poorly facilitated discussion can be profound.